we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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