he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tell me about the fingering
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