'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
