My cat gives me a boner
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we're making bets on your personal life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
