The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
