Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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