so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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