What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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