Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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