just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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