His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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