Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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