Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
