AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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