I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ladies don't puke and tell
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
