clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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