Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
