and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
