this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
