Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
