so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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