Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
