just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
