I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
