He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
