i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
