I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
