You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
