i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
