He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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