My hand turned me down
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
