i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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