He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
