I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
