Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
