that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
