I want to make a zoo with you.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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