How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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