She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
