i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
