good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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