We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
