someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
as a side note pls kill me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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