ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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