How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
