sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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