tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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