We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
