Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The struggles of a small town man whore
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
