You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
