I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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