kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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