i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
