Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
