she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
